Sanskrit Subhashita: The Definition of a Good Friend
Is simply standing by someone no matter what make one a good friend? Or is there more responsibility?
Last week, in my Ethics & Epics Class, part of the MA in Sanskrit Studies program I’m currently enrolled in, my Professor Srinivasa Acharya was discussing the definition of friendship in the context of the Karana - Duryodhana friendship in the Mahabharata.
Karana is known for standing by Duryodhana no matter what! Now that sounds great, but what about when Duryodhana does bad deeds? Does that make him a good friend? To that, my professor brought up a really amazing Sanskrit Subhashita (common wisdom) quote that I wanted to share (I’m taking the Sanskrit text from here):
पापान्निवारयति योजयते हिताय
गुह्यं निगूहति गुणान् प्रकटीकरोति |
आपद्गतं च न जहाति ददाति काले
सन्मित्रलक्षणमिदं प्रवदन्ति सन्ताः ||-भर्तृहरि (नीतिशतक)
pāpānnivārayati yojayate hitāya
guhyaṃ nigūhati guṇān prakaṭīkaroti |
āpadgataṃ ca na jahāti dadāti kāle
sanmitralakṣaṇamidaṃ pravadanti santāḥ ||
-bhartṛhari (nītiśataka)
He explained the quote as follows:
पापान्निवारयति - the one who helps you NOT to do any form of misdeed, mistake, crime, etc.
योजयते हिताय - engages you in what is healthy and good
गुह्यं निगूहति - all your secrets are protected; a good friend never discloses your secrets
गुणान् प्रकटीकरोति - when talking about you, your friend will only exhibit your good traits that help bring your fame
आपद्गतं च न जहाति - when we are in need, a good friend don’t leave us
ददाति काले - whenever we need, then they give. Many of us infantilize the other and give even when they don’t need. But a good friend will only give when you actually need as you are believed to be fully capable to get most other things on your own.
Based on this Subhashita, Karana was NOT a good friend because he didn’t help Duryodhana out of doing horrible misdeeds. So just standing by someone is not the only sign of friendship. There is some moral responsibility and guidance that comes with being a friend!
Overall, this Subhashita gives a lot to think about in what friendship is and isn’t, and to help us figure out who are good friends and who are not, and how, we, ourselves could be good friends.